Parenting for the Pandemic School Year- The First Week
Six months into the pandemic, sending kids off to school looks much different than it ever has before. The kids I talk to seem calmer than we are as adults about going back. I think that feeling comes from the innocence of youth but also that they are excited to be back with their friends, classmates, and teachers. They also have realized it is nice to have some structure and a plan for the day. My hat’s off to all of you parents for what you have done to keep some normalcy during the first week with first day of school pictures, etc. I have loved all the kids’s pictures and your messages of hope for a good year on social media. You are making your children feel as safe and secure as you can in a tough situation.
We, on the other hand, are worried (the natural state of parents), with that worry exacerbated by the pandemic. First and foremost, we want to keep our children safe, well and happy. We want them to be okay with how to learn in a way that is different than either they or even more concerning, their teachers have done before. It’s hard to know quite what to do because it is all new..
I endorse the message from the Connecticut State Department of Education to schools that they should prioritize social emotional health and learning at the start of the school year. It is what I hear schools doing. We all need time and energy to figure this new learning model out and the pace needs to be slower than normal to do so. As a result, most students did not have much work the first week but we should see that pick up as time goes on. For now, on your end, I suggest you also go slow and simply pay attention to how your child is doing. Here are some questions to keep in mind as you observe your children these first weeks of school. I will be posting more on them as the year progresses.
Emotionally- Is my child showing signs of distress like being sad or anxious or even needing more attention? Are they acting differently than they did in other years of school? Are they happier than in the past or showing more ups and downs?
Behaviorally- is my child more irritable, harder to get focused, needing a lot of reminders, coaxing, etc from me to get work done?
Academically- is my child able to complete the work with the support provided? Are they asking me for more help? Are they avoiding work? Are they spending more hours than they have in the past to complete work?
We are starting with a focus on paying attention for a couple of reasons:
What you observe might be the presenting concern but not the underlying cause. Emotional distress could be either because the new schedule is a big adjustment, there are no friends in her class she knows well or because the work is too hard. Work completion issues could have the same causes. The best way to solve the problem and keep it fixed is to start by paying attention, noting what is happening and observing any patterns.
What you observe right now may be part of adjusting to a new normal. Teachers are setting up routines. It may be that your child settles into what is expected. Please note, if they are truly upset or reporting something significant, I suggest reaching out to the teacher about it right away.
Even if kids do not seem stressed, there is a general level of stress for everyone in the pandemic that is taking its toll and has the potential to make typically small problems harder to manage. In an NBC news article, researchers identified hugs as having the potential to make us healthier and happier. It's a simple strategy you can implement daily for you and your children to combat the extra stress we are all experiencing.
In the spirit of Covid life, here is a virtual hug from me to you as well as my best wishes for a successful transition back to school!
Nancy Taylor has worked with thousands of families to create and implement effective plans to ensure that their children succeed in school and beyond. She is an experienced and trusted advisor who consistently moves the needle to get results. Nancy’s approach to advocacy and intervention employs a framework she developed based on her 30 years of experience as a school psychologist and administrator and includes both clinical and educational best practices. She knows that her work in engaging school staff, parents and children as problem-solving partners leads to the best outcomes.
Please feel free to email Nancy: nancy@tayloredadvocacy.com with your questions and suggestions for this blog.
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